How to Shift Your Mindset from a Fixed Mentality to a Growth Mentality

 

How To Make Peace With Your Past & Reclaim Your Power

“You can’t change the past, but you can choose how it lives within you.”

Healing from your past is one of the most powerful acts of self-love you can ever commit to.

For many of us, our stories are filled with pain, loss, and experiences we didn’t choose.

Moving through the healing process sets you free from the chains that bind you to that pain and keeps you from experiencing a happy life.  Healing unburdens your heart so we can move forward with confidence and joy.

Making peace with your past doesn’t mean forgetting what happened.   It simply involves learning to live with what happened in a way that no longer affects you negatively. It’s about acknowledging the wounds, while choosing to rise with strength, resilience and confidence.

The journey to heal does require courage.  Facing your past hurts may feel like opening up old wounds.  When you’re willing to take those steps forward with honesty and compassion, because you want to heal, I have no doubt you’ll come out the other side stronger, happier and freer.

Forgiveness.  It’s for yourself – NOT the one who’s wronged you.

Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

It’s not about excusing someone’s actions or pretending that the pain or damage they’ve caused didn’t matter.  Forgiving is about freeing your heart from the burden of resentment.

Holding onto anger, or bitterness or carrying a grudge only keeps you connected to the very energy that caused you pain in the first place.

That negative energy is a poison. 

And you can dispel of it in your life.

For example, someone who grew up in a home where love was conditional may find themselves repeating old patterns, choosing partners who withhold affection or approval.

Through forgiveness, that person can begin to release the emotional weight, learning that love is not something to be earned, but rather, something that is given freely, and through compassion, a feeling of safety, certainty and security can be experienced.

To help remove those negative emotions and poisonous energy from your body try these strategies:

·       Journaling,

·       Prayer or meditation, or

·       Write a letter you never send or that you watch burn (or maybe you do send it)

Those steps can help make space for new energy to flow in.

Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process of softening your heart one layer at a time. When you forgive, you don’t say, “It’s okay that it happened.” You say, “I’m choosing not to let this define me anymore.

Taming the Negative Voices

We all have inner voices that echo old pain:  the critic, the doubter, the fearful child.

These voices often whisper things like, “You’ll never change,” or “You’re not good enough.”

They come from experiences where we were hurt, rejected, humiliated or made to feel small.

Taming those voices doesn’t mean silencing them. It only involves learning to question them, to seek the validity in what their saying – and recognize the with truth (that chances are – there is no validity) with love and compassion for yourself.

When a harsh thoughts arise, pause and ask, “Whose voice is this — mine or someone else’s?” Then gently replace it with truth:

• “I am learning and growing every day.”
• “I am worthy of love and peace.”
• “My past does not define me.”

Practices like meditation, mindful breathing, and spending time in nature can also help calm the noisy negative voices.

When you get into the habit of questioning what you’re hearing and feeling, over time, your inner dialogue will shift from self-criticism to self-compassion. You’ll begin to create a sense of feeling safe and secure in your own body and to trust your own voice.  This is a significant step in emotional healing.

Practices to Support Your Healing Journey

Healing is personal. 

Small consistent steps can create powerful transformation.

Try incorporating some of these practices into your life:

• Write a letter to your younger self. Tell your younger self what she needed to hear.  Let her know that she’s worth, loved and cherished just as she is (was).
• Create a “forgiveness jar.” Write down names, situations, or memories you’re ready to release. Fold them up and place them inside. Each one symbolizes a little more freedom and will unburden your heart.
• Spend time in nature. Nature is a mirror of healing.  It shows us the sun shines after every storm and that growth follows.  It shows us that the sun rises after the darkest night – undoubtedly and for certain.
• Seek therapy, coaching, or a healing circle. You don’t have to do it alone. Safe spaces allow you to process your emotions in healthy ways.
• Rituals of release. Light a candle, say a prayer, or meditate on the phrase, “I release what no longer serves me.” These small rituals anchor your positive, healing energy.

The Pros of Making Peace with Your Past

1.    Freedom and Lightness. Releasing resentment feels like dropping a heavy backpack you’ve carried for years. You breathe easier, think clearer, and move through life with new energy.
Example: After forgiving a friend who betrayed you, you might notice that you actually feel lighter or maybe that new friendships start entering your life.

2.    Improved Relationships. Healing changes the way you show up for others. You communicate from a place of peace rather than from one of pain.  You’ll attract people to you who reflect your growth.  Example: You may find yourself setting healthy boundaries without guilt or fear and being more positive around others.  Like attracts like.  The people who come into your life will also be positive thinkers and solution oriented – rather than focused on past hurts or pain, or perpetual complainers.

3.    Personal Growth and Empowerment. When you make peace with your past, you’ll feel empowered to move forward with confidence. Every experience becomes a lesson in strength and self-discovery. Example: Someone who once saw themselves as a victim begins to see themselves as a survivor, and eventually, a thriver.

4.    Inner Calm and Emotional Balance.  As you move through the healing process, you’ll notice that your emotions become more stable. You’ll respond with understanding and grace rather than reacting in anger or pain.
Example: Instead of being triggered by a certain comment, you recognize it for what it is and choose not to let it control your peace. 

Potential Bumps in the Road to Recovery

1.    Emotional Discomfort. Facing old pain can churn up deep emotions. It can feel messy before it feels peaceful.  Simply recognize that those feelings are natural and part of the process.
Example: Revisiting a painful childhood memory may lead to tears and fatigue, but those emotions are how the body lets go of stored pain.

2.    Losing Relationships. As you grow, not everyone will grow with you. Some people may resist or misunderstand your healing.  Some people like to stick to the status quo.
Example: You may have to set boundaries with family members who trigger old patterns, even if it feels uncomfortable.

3.    Nonlinear Progress. Healing isn’t a straight line. You might feel peaceful one day and triggered the next. This in no way means that you’re failing at healing. It simply means that you’re evolving.
Example: You might revisit an old wound, months later, only to discover new layers of understanding.

4.    Time and Energy Commitment. Healing takes patience, consistency, and self-care. Some days, you may even want to take a break, or worse – just quit.  Each small effort, no matter how tiny, adds up.
Example: Therapy, journaling, or meditation may feel repetitive at times, but these habits slowly reshape your emotional landscape and your resiliency.

Making peace with your past isn’t about erasing whole chapters of your story.  It’s about transforming that experience it something useful.  As you move through your healing journey, you’ll also begin to understand that every experience, even the painful ones, built your resiliency.  Those experiences chiseled you into the masterpiece that you are and even contributed to your wisdom, which, if you’d like, you can now share with others to help and inspire them overcome their pain.

After all, we cannot lead anyone successfully through anything that we’ve not successfully navigated ourselves.

Forgiveness frees you.   Self-compassion strengthens you.  Taming your inner voice empowers you.

Your past may be part of your story, but it does not have to be your home. You do not have to live as a product of your pain.  You can choose to be the author of your healing – one little breath, one baby step, one tiny act of forgiveness at a time.

Say it with me:

“I release what no longer serves me. I forgive to free myself. I am ready to live in peace.”

My Gift For You

If you’d like some personalized guidance along Your Healing Journey and would like to put these healing strategies into play for yourself and in your life, I’d be delighted to chat.

Please reach out to me privately at yourhealingjourney58@gmail.com OR find me on FB https://www.facebook.com/yourhealingjourneytrishosborne to schedule your complimentary session.

‘Your Healing Journey’ Breakthrough Call.

This is a free virtual call and there’s no obligation for us to work together. We’ll discuss your unique circumstances and what you’d like to overcome and achieve.

By the end of our time together you’ll have:

1.    Crystal Clarity with simple steps and solutions,

2.    Tools and resources to help you move forward confidently, and

3.    A customized Action Plan designed just for you – what to do next to help you on your journey to wellness and healing.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

 

Trish Osborne is a Certified Integrative Life Coach, Founder of Your Healing Journey, and the Host of a forever-free Facebook Community of the same name.

It’s her mission to help women leave past hurts and traumas in the dust (where they belong), recover from their pain, boldly embrace their unique talents and gifts, and design the life they truly desire - one full of passion and purpose, confidence and freedom.

With a proven, step-by-step process to recovery and life success, Trish offers a customized coaching experience designed with each individual client collaboratively and with a holistic approach to healing the mind, the body and the soul too.

Trish would be delighted if you’d join her free ‘Your Healing Journey’ Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/yourhealingjourneywithtrish (just request to join) where she shares her best solutions and strategies for living a life full of confidence and joy.